Charlie Brown has never knowingly taken steriods

Okay, so I love the Peanuts and this is SO wrong .... hilarious, but wrong ...
from http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/9/5kirkpatrick.html

CHARLIE BROWN
HAS NEVER KNOWINGLY
TAKEN STEROIDS.

BY ANDREW AND EDWARD KIRKPATRICK

- - - -

(Court reporter's transcript.)

- - - -

DISTRICT ATTORNEY OTHMAR: Wah wah-wah wah, wah, wah wah-wah-wah wah?

CHARLIE BROWN: I'm sorry, sir, but I didn't knowingly lie to the grand jury.

D.A.: Wah-wah-wah-wah?

BROWN: I did not knowingly take steroids, sir. Period. Snoopy gave me something to make me throw harder, but he said it was flaxseed oil and vitamin drops. I was tired of having the ball hit back up the middle and all my clothes torn off.

D.A.: Wah wah wah-wah?

BROWN: He's my dog, sir. He said he got the stuff from Woodstock.

D.A.: Wah wah wah-wah?

BROWN: A little yellow bird, sir.

D.A.: Wah wah-wah wah wah wah-wah wah wah wah wah-wah-wah wah-wha-wah wah wah wah wah?

BROWN: Yes, sir.

D.A.: Wah wah wah wah-wah-wah wah-wah?

BROWN: We were boyhood friends, sir.

D.A.: Wah wah-wah wah wah wah wah wah?

BROWN: My head's always been this big. Ask Sally. And I'm not going bald; I've never had more than three hairs, sir.

D.A.: Wah-wah wah.

BROWN: What's backne?

D.A.: Wah-wah wah-wah wah.

BROWN: Gross.

D.A.: Wah wah-wah wah wah.

BROWN: Greenies? Sure, there were amphetamines, but we didn't know they were illegal. Linus said they'd help us play with more pep. We only took them once, and then after the game we went back to my house and everybody started dancing crazy while our catcher played the piano.

D.A.: Wah-wah-wah wah wah-wah wah-wah wah.

BROWN: I play for the love of the game, sir.

D.A.: Wah wah-wah wah?

BROWN: Yeah, we've lost a lot of games over the years.

D.A.: Wah-wah wah. Wah-wah wah-wah wah wah wah.

BROWN: Who told you that, sir?

D.A.: Wah wah-wah wah.

BROWN: Hey, no way. You can't believe anything Franklin put in that book. You all are ... you're stupid blockheads!

(The courtroom erupts in a babble of wah-wahs.)

D.A.: Wah-wah-wah wah wah-wah wah. Wah.

(The witness begins to cry.)

BROWN: Have you ever seen our team, sir? We're hopeless. Just hopeless. The right fielder spends half the time in the infield trying to talk the catcher into going out with her. Our first baseman carries a blanket onto the field. My dog is the shortstop! He's the definition of "all field, no hit," and you don't even want to touch the ball after he catches it with his mouth. Have you ever lost a game 60-0? We needed a competitive advantage. I was sick of all the attention going to Peppermint Patty. Peppermint Patty's so great. She's so wonderful. She's been on the juice for years! Why do you think Marcie always calls her "sir"? Her testosterone levels are through the roof. But no one says anything because she's a girl. Franklin, Marcie, Pig-Pen ... they're all on the stuff.

D.A.: Wah wah-wah wah.

BROWN: I don't think so, sir. This is a witch hunt out to get Charlie Brown, because Charlie Brown is a boy.

D.A.: Wah-wah wah wah wah wah wah-wah wah-wah-wah.

(The witness holds his head in his hands.)

BROWN: Does this mean our one win has to be forfeited?

So true, so true

Truth: if it hadn't been chocolate, I wouldn't have posted the results

You Are Chocolate Ice Cream

Dramatic. Powerful. Flirty.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

... and youth minister, too

It's been a very long time since I had direct responsibility for the whole youth program in a church. Our's is not large but we just added 5 very active (in the life of the church as well as in life in general) 7th graders to our youth group; 6 girls, 1 boy. Funny, the Sr High is dominated by boys with only 1 girl. So we're small but on the cusp of opportunity so I am anxious about not letting the opportunity pass. So I am now adding youth to my Sunday routine.

This week we talked about God's gift to us and how we can be a gift to others. (From Pictures of God by Mark O(something I can't remember, published by Youth Specialties)). For the closing part of worship, each one finished the sentence: I am grateful to God for the gift of ...

For the most part the answers were typical for jr high, friends, family, passing a test, my dad not freaking over the 62 in Spanish (and dad is a native Spanish speaker). After my week of interesting email and the realization of "there's no one else to lead youth and we can't afford to lose these kids because no one will lead," I was feeling a lot tired and some overwhelmed by all the "stuff" of ministry. As I listened to their responses, I was figuring out my own. The ending I chose was, in part, a reflection of the day because more people than usual commented postively about the sermon or gave me a compliment. Those supportive gestures helped with the feeling of being overwhelmed. So, I said, "I'm grateful to God for the gift of people telling me I'm doing a good job." And there was a chorus that immediately replied, "You're doing a good job."

Those inattentive, distracted, full of diversions, oblivious, hazy, preoccupied, unobservant jr high spoke ... and I heard God's voice. Yes, I do believe God works in mysterious ways. And God works in and through us even when we don't know it. Thanks be to God for jr high who might really be paying more attention than it looks like!

too big or not too big

I just dropped SportsQueen off to catch the bus to the Jr High volleyball tournament that is 3 miles from her school. We live between the two schools but coach wanted everyone to ride the bus to the tournament. Duh! If I were a Jr High coach, I would too.

SportsQueen is at the point of life where her almost constant desire is to stand next to her mother saying variations on "look how tall I am." I suspect that before she becomes an "official" teenagers the height battle will have been lost by this one who gave her birth.

Last night, she fell asleep in my bed watching TV. I went to bed quite late and there she was. I tried to wake her enough to find out if she really wanted to sleep in her bed and ended up getting her awake enough to move over. Good enough.

I distinctly remember our pediatrician (who I think is wonderful) firmly instructing against children sleeping with parents. Okay, so I understand the reasoning, I just disagree with the absolute position. I have no intention of sleeping, or not really sleeping as the case really is, with my child or children on a regular basis. But I'm also not going to adamantly demand to sleep alone when I have a child that needs some snuggle time.

SportsQueen really likes sleeping spread out all over her bed and rarely sleeps with me. But, truth: I love that she still wants the affection and nurture of her mother even as she moves into that space of creating her independence.

Even when she's bigger than I am, she won't be too big to snuggle with momma.

'Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free RevGalBlogPals Friday Five

This Friday Five is Fairly Simple. Name five things you have enjoyed this week.


Okay, so in a week where an angry email was sent by a church member to an inappropriate group and another church member answered not quite in kind and where the second candidate offered the youth position said, "No." Five things I have enjoyed has taken all day to think of. Good thing somebody asked the question, or I might have missed out on the blessing.

1. I enjoyed the ability to handle the Entertainer's not-so-good-asthma day without any hassles about "where are you?" or losing money or taking vacation time.


2. I enjoyed going to the local church supply place with the bonus of getting my cool new preacher shirt.


3. I enjoyed SportsQueen's reaction to the WOW dvds that I plan to use for youth on Sunday night to help expand their Christian music experience and worship time.

4. I enjoyed the Entertainer's gift for saying just the right hilarious thing at just the right time. She cracks me up!

5. I enjoyed finding the right size Levi's at Costco while buying a replacement phone for the one that crashed and having enough money for both.

Bonus enjoyment: feeling a little less isolated because of the sharing of RevGalBlogPals in this cyberconnection.